Tangled Web of Aracknight - trouble and solution

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Dec 19, 2009, 9:35am

Tangled Web of Aracknight :: General :: General Board :: Relationships :: trouble and solution

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Topic: trouble and solution (Read 165 times)

William Couch
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trouble and solution
« Thread Started on Dec 1, 2006, 10:22am »

Recently, my wife and I enjoyed our second anniversary. It was a wonderful experience in several ways. First off, it’s good to get out of the house. Secondly, we did a few things we’ve been meaning to do for a while. Mostly though, it was a good chance to show each other how much we love one another. With work, bills, laundry, vet visits, holiday shopping, oh the list just goes on and on, one has a tendency to misplace those things in life that are most important. My wife, one of the most loving people I know and the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with, was coming in a slow second in my life to all the little things “I Let” get in the way. We all do it. Our own interests become so important we forget the joy that comes with helping the ones we love with what’s important to them. It flabbergasted me to see that in only two years of marriage we had flown so far off course. We were arguing about the little things. We both had to be right all the time. It was a very selfish co-habitation with very little resemblance to what I’m sure we both imagined on our wedding day.

Ok, I said all that to share this next part with you. We stopped and looked at each other. We talked. We both agreed that this isn’t what we wanted. We also both agreed that we hadn’t been communicating with each other for a while and that we had a real problem. We both wanted a good marriage and we both wanted the other to be happy. There was no pin pointed moment when we had decided to stop talking about it. I know that I can’t remember when it happened but at one point I just adopted the idea that talking to her about this unhappiness I was having just seemed pointless. Well, we talked. We communicated. We agreed we needed help of some kind. Baby steps… ya know?

We went to the Christian Book Store. We had planned to get in touch with a counselor if need be but my wife had suggested that first we go the book store and pick up two books each. One book was for us and one for our spouse to read. We got home and started reading one together. I learned a lot of things I kind of already knew about women. Some things I didn’t. Some things I had forgotten. Some things it was just good to see in print so I could reaffirm things I had heard or read long ago. I’m sure my wife learned a couple things about guys. The most important thing was that we both saw how much the other one wanted to work on this and that we both listened and cared about what the other needed in the relationship.

I’m not saying its all roses now. We still have things to work out as I’m sure anyone who’s married will admit, is a life long work in progress. We took the time though to stop and tell each other that we wanted more out of our relationship and we wanted more for each other as well. We now have calendar planned date nights and though I’m sure this is just one small battle in a long standing war to keep our relationship healthy and loving, we have stepped up to meet the challenge this time and I’ve already seen that it’s making us stronger.

Take from my little story whatever you like. If you think I’m an idiot and I’ve only been married a couple years so I know nothing… I’ll grant you that. I probably do know nothing at this point. I’m finally looking forward to learning now though.

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